The Incredible Teenage Brain by Bettina Hohnen

Author:Bettina Hohnen
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784509521
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2019-09-30T16:00:00+00:00

Teens’ emotional behaviour is driven by strong motivations which are rational to them, in that moment

Remember that feelings motivate us to act, and so if we feel more intensely, our motivations will be stronger. As teen behaviour is more driven by their emotional brains, motivations can be very powerful. But why are they drawn to make ‘bad’ decisions so frequently? Why do they want to go to a party the week before important exams in their lives? Are they behaving irrationally or ‘throwing away the good money I’ve spent on their education’? The answer is no. They are not crazy, lazy or irrational human beings. Their behaviour is just strongly driven by what is important to them at that time.

Take a situation where a young person, Troy, has been invited to a party. He also has a test he should be revising for the next day. He wants to do well in his test but recently he has really begun to enjoy hanging out with his friends and, having felt somewhat socially isolated in the past, his motivation to build his social status is strong at this time. He does well academically, and so in weighing up the decision between academic value and social value in that moment for him, the latter wins. Does this make him crazy or lazy or someone who doesn’t care about their academic work? No, it makes him someone who values and is motivated towards strengthening their social value at this time.

So, should you just let your teenager party all the time and throw their lives away? No, we are not suggesting you let teenage drives and motivations take full control. Remember the co-pilot analogy in Chapter 1: The Incredible Teen Brain – Time to Upgrade. They are not in charge, but nor are you completely in charge. You can put your metaphorical foot down and in some cases you would do so (and boundaries are essential), but being able to understand their perspective and motivations will help you to empathise with them and problem solve together. If going to the party tonight really would have a big impact on their academic success (and so the answer is that they cannot go), maybe you can think of when they can next spend time with those friends, given the importance to them of their social standing at that time.

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